number 7

i've been thinking about a new idea for a while, i should have put in on here sooner but i have been unable to get connected

my new idea is... blogging as a secret identity, i don't want to write about it too much at the moment as i feel my creative juices flow more vastly and juicily late at night and i want to do this new insight justice...

if you do read this please let me know via the mystical path of comment leaving as i feel a little bit like i'm writing this for my own benefit, and that makes me feel like i might be a crazy person who has to write down their thoughts in order to validate (or should that be verify) them as being real... what i'm saying is i already know what i'm thinking and to put them on here solely for my benefit would be insane as i already know what i'm thinking, and besides just reading without getting involved is selfish...

once again thanks to james for this photograph

i want to change the theme of my post titles (number 1 etc.) what should i change it to...?!

love to you all...

number 6

i've just had a bit of a brain wave of an idea to talk about on this... my next blog.

i had actually gone to bed when i thought of it, but had to get up and write in case i forgot, which is annoying as it's late and i've got to be up for work early tomorrow - especially early as i'm going to have to have a shave in the morning to ensure i don't get mistaken for a passing vagrant (drifter if you will) when i arrive at work and get given a cup of cold tea and the crusts from an old loaf of bread and then escorted off the premises before being given the opportunity to explain my late night, didn't have time to shave conundrum... i also forgot to make my sandwhiches and will now have to do so whilst making breakfast

anway the more i ramble on about this the less time i get sleeping and the more tired i will be at work tomorrow, the more tired i am the colder i tend to be (i work in a very well ventilated room) which results in me putting on my jacket and repeatedly being asked "are you not staying?" in a witty sarcastic kind of way...

ahem... my idea...

i've often thought about silence and so i'm going to use this internet medium to share my thoughts about it, a little ironic you might think... talking about silence?! you could say its like rain on your wedding day, but then again you probably wouldn't

silence... there's a thin line between a close relationship with a friend/family member, and one that has not yet begun to form or has hit some problems when it comes to silence... think about it, how do you feel when you are silent with someone, is it awkward? is it comfortable? (i might add here that these thoughts were the ones that lead to me coining the phrase "hmmm... this is awkward?!" which got grossly overused, became expected at every pause for breath and subsequently isn't funny any more - for anyone unfamiliar with this the idea is to say the above phrase quietly to one's self when a conversation with someone reaches a natural end or pause)

now then, i like the idea of silences with a close friend, there's something very reassuring about being able to sit silently with someone, enjoying each others company without feeling the pressure to speak, its comforting, just being there.... especially if you seem to be able to tell what the other person is thinking and you can both silently appreciate that thought.... you feel like soulmates for a bried telepathic moment (tried to think of a better word than soulmates but couldn't - sorry, hope you get the idea)

however, the same silence with an unfamiliar can strike fear and terror into the hearts of even the strongest, mightiest and most muscular men (...and women - don't want to get the equal opportunities for sexes people on my back...) i shared such a moment with an uncle of mine at a family gathering at the weekend, it was horrible, we looked at each other both recognising discomfort rising through us, needing to find a way out but unsure what to do (haha maybe i should have said "hmmmm... this is awkward....?!") in the end we stuck to the most minimilist (moby would be proud) of all small talk and offered our two cents (what does this phrase mean?) on the weather

you get the idea... my challenge is thus: at what point do you pass over the line with someone where you can leave the anxious, sweaty (cold sweat of course!) moments behind and actually begin to enjoy those comfortable natural silences with an acquaintence? can you do this at all? have you reached that point with me yet?

golly its late, hehe there's an owl hooting outside my window, how quaint (the little blighter - i'm not sure if this word is considered to be offensive or not, please let me know - better not keep me up all night!!) i best leave you to your own devices now as i have to be at work in a few hours (sorry for another long one, i am yet to be able to keep these things compact and presice).

enjoy

number 5

we've got a frog in our lounge

i tried to do this earlier, i couldn't do it, its wierd to get writer's block over something with so little significance, at present i'm aware of two people who read this (john, dan how are you?) i got all blocked up and couldn't even remember who i was, anyway, time for another try

about 90% of online conversations are rubbish (i'm in one of those rubbish ones right now... oooo.. could it be you? were you talking to me at about 8.30pm on the 8th sept) its like that small talk with people you don't know at the beginning of parties (you know the ones... with plenty of perfectly good chairs around and yet everyone feels the need to stand while they talk) back to online conversations, they are rubbish, a waste of time and yet i spend so much of my time in them, they're faceless, emotionless, pointless.... maybe msn should do an automated thing (like the templates you get on phones for text messages), you could click on a button (perhaps labelled small talk) which ask the same questions and gives the same answers, for example saying "yeah everythings ok" when in reality its not, not because you don't trust the person you're talking to but because you've become digitised, you're either fine and you don't want to talk about it or you're not fine and you don't want to talk about it, we're all stuck. to be honest about half of the time i forget who i'm talking to and just keep typing generic responses to whoever it may be...

the frog has been safely removed

10% of conversations are well worth it, they flow, you discuss many things at once (to the point where it is infinitely confusing) and when you remember them later, you don't so much remember sitting typing, you remember it as if you were actually with that particular friend, you remember the emotions the intensity of your conversation and you can almost see the expressions on their faces as they type away... all this being said i'd still pick one to one, face to face social intercourse any day

despite this little whinge i'm generally happy at the moment, i was happy earlier as i thought about how cool it is to have your washing done for you when you're at home, this made me happy, i wore a t-shirt last night and got it dirty, now its clean, washed, dried, ironed (by me) and folded and waiting in my cupboard for its chance to revisit my body for another fun filled moment. this makes me smile, its the simple things, at uni i wouldn't expect to see it for another four weeks

i also like how its sunny and slightly breezy at the moment (well not right now, during the day) and how my bed is comfy and warm and how despite being temporarily isolated in the middle of nowhere im relatively popular and my friends are all lovely - the simple things

i also like the fact i have so many excellent photos to put on here to the point where each day i find it hard to choose which one, if you don't like them you are wrong they are great

must go i might add a little bit more later - leave me a comment

number 4

how long am i just gonna keep naming my posts like that? (number 1, number 2 etc.) its anyone's guess i suppose, i thought about changing it tonight but i don't think we're quite ready for that are we?

let's take things one step at a time,

i don't want to get nasty comments from my devoted readers issuing complaints that i've caused them nose bleeds or dizzy spells or anything like that. i'm just going to go ahead and say it

i accept no responsibility for any physical harm that any of you suffer when reading this....

emotional harm... now that's a different story...


i've been thinking that i've been spreading myself a little thinly over the holidays, i've taken on quite a few different hobbies/activities, and this whilst, giving me something new to do each day, means i don't really feel like im getting anywhere in one single pursuit, do people who have achieved great things done so my knowingly sacrificing something else that was slowing them down...

they say variety is the spice of life but, is that a adding seasoning and flavour to a mediocre life? does being a slightly more single minded person lead you to ultimately more success?

its embarressing that i have to keep ms word open to spell check a lot of the words im using on here

anyway, what do you think? do i need to consolidate? if so what takes priority? music over art? art over fitness? fitness over music? being awake and active over being all comfy and snoozy in bed?

i've decided i don't want this to be a diary... i'm probably not going to write that much about the things i've been doing, partially because i've been living a fairly boring life in which i don't do anything, and partly because its too easy... so it's going to be the crazy thoughts and themes running through my mind, and spiritual musings (which i will go into in more depth later), i may add song lyrics/poems and ideas for sitcoms, books, dramas films etc. we will see, give me some suggestions

i suppose i want this to be unique, and special, however i don't want to have to try hard to achieve this (haha lazy), i want it to flow out of my mind, down my arms, and onto the keys freely, like an overly hydrated newborn baby with no bladder control

number 3

ummm... i hate driving in flipflops and... well... i suppose its ok as i take them off and then its enjoyable, there's something natural and rural about driving in barefeet in the middle of the countryside... all is well...

oh, credit for about 50% of the photo's has to go to james pearson... well done my friend

been to the pub tonight with dad, was good...

number 2

i was thinking last night about how often people put posts on these things, and to what extent that relates to how bored you are. it's a confusing thing, i see two possibilities:

a) you make lots of posts as you are living an exciting life, doing lots of outrageous stuff, and with your multitude of friends across the globe you just have to spend the early hours after you've got in from your party, outing or get together putting your experiences on the web just so that your faithful blog following won't be left out of the loop

b) you have no friends, you have no fun times, you spend many hours inside your head, which culminates in the fantastic invention of poems, bizarre scenarios, and top ten lists of films, books, times you've been scared but don't know why etc. the day is spent waiting for that golden moment in time between about 9 and 10.30pm when your friends in far off places are finishing their fun days and are signing into msn, once they've logged off at around midnight, you settle down to work, unfolding your thoughts and trying to pass them off as something that may amuse and inspire people

this doesn't really answer my question... how long is a cool amount of time between leaving posts? please leave comments with suggestions as i'm new to this as i don't want to cross the line from "free thinking chap with a need to keep people in the know on my thoughts" and "sad nerd"

which of the two scenarios above is me? im afraid at the moment it is b.

anyway this is not the reason i came on here this morning

this is a time of celebration... why? (i'm suddenly aware i've got a lot of these types of sentences already)... because i have stumbled across proof that my eccentric description of the internet that i made last night, check out the following animation:

microsoft molemen

also look at the radiohead "creep" video (thanks to chris turnpenny and hsi blog for directing me there)

chris if you're out there... i've enjoyed reading your blog, i miss talking to you so much it hurts sometimes, and i'm looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks

i've also noticed that people have little descriptions of themselves on these things, i'm yet to decide whether or not to do one of these, along with hobbies, interests and favourite foods/colours/game in taekeshi's castle etc. the alternative is that i don't and you can pick little bits out of these posts and construct an intricately complex character profile of me

with regards to my earlier comments about my personality blogging scenario if you know me you'll know that i have a fairly cinical, fairly sarcastic sense of humour and will realise that i'm not manicly depressed or lonely or anything like that so do not worry

i think i've written too much now (how much is too much? again post comments) so i'm going to wrap it up now, by the way i heard a really good sermon at church on sunday (given by andy upton at knighton efc) about worrying, we are a people of too many worries, if you're worrying too much check out the latter parts of matthew 6 (verses 25-34), if you don't have a bible look at the following link and ask me about it and i'll do my best to let you know what its all about:

matthew 6 (new living translation)

(i hope these links work)

that'll do for now

number 1

is there anybody in here??

i've noticed in the last couple of weeks that a lot of my friends, have been lending their thoughts and ideas to this crazy warren of communication passageways and information networks known as the internet hidden deep underground and being watched over by the microsoft molemen, seeming to bare their very souls to whoever might glance their way, there's a kind of nakedness to it, a certain vulnerability that prooves one can truly find themselves through blah blah blah...long story short i've decided to start my own blog...

sitting here i find it a somewhat amusing and entertaining thought that this may drift off into nothingness never to be seen by anyone, which makes me question whether or not its worth it, to which i answer "yes... i might as well... i've got nothing better to do..."

so here we go... this may be the start of something special a hidden (yet wholey available to anyone with a computer) sanctum for the ideas that slowly form in my mind and need somewhere to overflow and be spilt... on the other hand it might be a complete waste of time...